Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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