just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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