i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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