i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
