im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.