I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...