I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
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He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
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I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.