I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself