hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
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Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
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Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma