I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
The air was thick with penises
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating