then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
