i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I want a musical about memes.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
