no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
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He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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