You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo