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• (407): View more from Florida

  im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes

  (1-407): View more from Florida

  i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"

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  Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.

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• (225): View more from Louisiana

  If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.

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• (305): View more from Florida

  We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.

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  25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day

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