Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(219): View more from Indiana

she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'

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(352): View more from Florida

... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.

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(248): View more from Michigan

Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.

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Read it at the TFLN blog
(678): View more from Georgia

Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us

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(631): View more from New York

Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.

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(808): View more from Hawaii

So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.

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