On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize