Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you