Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
