We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize