she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
