Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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