Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
