just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
