dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
