I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
