i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i already hear my dad disowning me
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
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I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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