I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Rumble strips road head = magical
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I could fuck to npr.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
