Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Boobs are out for the taking
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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