Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
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