I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
