she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
