I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
