Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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