why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
