But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
