Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
