There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
