He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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