You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
