I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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