I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
