bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Randomize
