Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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