i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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