i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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