Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
