When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
