dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
