Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
