he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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