Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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