Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
