I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
