She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Randomize
