I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
