Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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