I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just shotgunned beers for America
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize