Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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