Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
