Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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