All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize