i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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