If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
